It was my fourth visit at Hampichicuy since 2018, a plant medicine healing center in the amazon region of Peru. It is not in an area where tourists go, but the center of Javier, an expert in dealing with addictions and healing through plant medicine. When I was called to work with plant medicine, his work and his center came up and I chose to go there.
My intention for this time was to leave it to the plants to clear from my body, mind and soul, what I am ready to let go of. I learned in previous times, that whatever intention I have, the plants have a mind of their own and will work and heal what needs healing, even if I do not know about it.
Most of my life I lived and worked using my left brain. Being in control is essential in this world. Even when I wanted to let go, I was still in control. I tried to let go on my terms. If I learned something from the plants, then it is letting go. When you hand yourself over to plants, you need to trust and let them take control. This deep trust, that all is well and all is exactly as it should be is one of the life lessons that I took from these plants. The last stay, 10 days of pant diet and Ayahuasca ceremonies were like graduation in the art of letting go of the outcome.
As difficult as my first sessions were, the last one was pure love and bliss. I was struggling for words when we reflected on this session and I realize how little words I have to express love. I can talk about the incredible colours I saw, the energy around me taking forms and I was shown the beauty of connecting with nature. The plant cleansed and purified my body, not only in my lymphatic system and in my blood stream, but through the meridians, up and down. The love and emotions I felt coming my way from people I know, made me cry of joy. All I can describe in words is nothing compared to what I felt. It was a demonstration of the riches of my live that goes much beyond words and shows that it is the experience that really counts.
From all those people I talked to about their plant medicine experience, there is no story the same as another. Maybe the colours you might see are a common encounter, but also this is not with everyone and not every time. So, what I learn is that either we react to the plants individually or the plants work with each of us individually – probably both!
Plant medicine is a healing journey. Ayahuasca is a ceremony a medicine, not a psychodelic drug. If you feel the calling, expect the unexpected, it might work out beautifully from the very beginning and it might take many takes to arrive at a state of wellbeing and acceptance. If you feel the calling, know that you are in for something new, something that you have not experienced so far and when I say ‘in’, I mean body mind and soul, not just tipping into cold water with your toes.
For me there is no ceremony without a plant diet during the period of my stay. I am not talking about eating healthy, no alcohol or meat, I am talking about a plant diet that emphasizes the effect of the ayahuasca ceremonies. I can best describe it as ‘getting thin’ – my skin, my layer of protection is getting thin and permeable. It is easy to feel one with nature, easy to open up to emotional states that I would usually try to control or ‘handle’.
It takes time to come back to my normal diet and my normal emotional state and then I might never come back really and fully, which is normal, I am going there to evolve and to integrate the experiences.
During the months after such an experience I become aware of what I was really working on and in what way I am new to myself! So, while I am enjoying to be back home, I am also finding out who I am now – always an interesting time!
I am very much looking forward to a busy time in my therapy and ceremonial work at Wayra Astrae and online! Contact me for an appointment if you like to work with me or join me in one of my workshops and retreats!