I am white and I am European. My career, my personal life, my upbringing is European, everything is anchored in the modern western world.
Besides all these obvious attributes and the traditional belonging in this life, I am a soul being, connected with all the universe and all there is, whether I consciously know about it or not. My soul incarnated into many traditions and has been many colors and shapes. Most probably not just as a human and not just on Earth. I see lifetimes as changing bodies, like we change clothing every day, we have a certain style or many styles that depict our fashion sense. We sometimes re-create bodies with the same wounds, but in different cultures and with different abilities.
This time I chose European parents and predominantly white features, my nose being one of the exceptions to this rule for example.
With such a consciousness, racist behavior as we have it all over the Earth, is utterly ridiculous, if it would not be so sad as well.
It is a long time ago that I stopped thinking of me as the me that I am today. I am many lifetimes! My knowledge and the traumas and wounds that I heal this time around are coming from different races and traditions I lived in.
When I undress this body and my soul goes into the light, I will decide in what shape or form I will come back, to Earth or to Sirius or to a galaxy unknown to me right now. Fact is that until then, I want to heal as many of my wounds as possible, I want to be as light as possible for my next journey.
A few days ago, during a Cranio-Sacral-Therapy which I did to heal an eye infection that keeps coming back, I regressed into a life and saw the north American prairies full of dead Bisons. It is not the first time that I see this, but I do hope it was the last time (and that with this vision the eye infection leaves as well). Not because I want to forget about this incredible crime on my people then, but because I would like to leave the suffering behind. Every time this comes up, I am back to the enormity of the impact, back to the understanding of what this means for us and our future and the cruelty of doing such atrocities to human and animal life. The pain is overwhelming and does not leave me for days, ready to kick in whenever I get reminded.
My therapist says that I have to accept my creator’s will and that nothing happens without the approval of the universe. In many ways it is easy for me to accept and understand that everything happens for a reason. But this particular case overwhelms me, the pain and the grieving are so intense that I immediately go into blaming and if not hatred, into sadness. All my body is just one wound and I do not find an ailment or any way to release this torment.
In previous sessions, dedicated to lifetimes in the northern prairies, I have forgiven myself for not seeing it coming and for not being able to prevent the killing of these wonderful creatures that sustained humans in so many ways. I forgave my own perpetrators, but it seems immensely more difficult to forgive those who killed the animals, the food source and the source of shelter and warmth.
On this background of my recent experience and on reflection of where I belong, I want to say that with all the skills and knowledge and memories we have, of living lives in many other traditions, I am born here for a reason and my being of service is here, while feeling connected with all there is.
This time round I belong to the European lineage, while being of service as a light worker, as a therapist, using all my knowledge from all my background.
3 years ago, I got a drum, made by Tuvan shamans. For the first time in this life, there, I drummed at the fire. I was shy at the beginning, but very soon I heard the drum directing me and I remembered. Now I am working with her in my shamanic practice and she tells me when to drum and she tells me the rhythm and she tells me when to sing and when to talk. I just need to connect and let the old knowledge flow in. I love Tuva and I yearn to go back and walk the land with one particular shaman and a close friend. The shamanic tradition is still very strong there and I remember, but I belong to where I am now. I have work to do for myself in the whole area of Siberia, Tuva, Altay and Mongolia. I will do what I am permitted to do. A good part of my core is from there and will go back there.
For 7 years now I go to Peru and learn from the land and from the Q’ero tradition. I love their way of loving mother earth and their way of doing ceremony. When I am there, I connect to many lifetimes lived on that land, sometimes a simple life and sometimes as a healer and ceremonial master. I can see the ceremonies of old times and I also had to heal some wounds from these times. This is the easiest connection with the ancient past and traditions to remember.
I carry a lot of respect for the Mayan tradition, even if I have not much to do with it this time. When I visited a Mayan archeological site with old pyramids, I instinctively knew how to approach them and my Mayan guide told me that this is how he learned to respect and approach the ancient sites from his grandfather. My task there was to come in respect and forgiveness – I do not know for what, but I forgave and I was forgiven. The place welcomed us in a most beautiful way and I left with a wonderful, strong energy due to the exchange of words and feelings and respect I found there. If I need to do more or if I need to know more about the Mayan culture, I will be called and I will follow the call. For now, I am good where I am.
There are many other traditions that my soul connected to and this time I got in touch. A somewhat lighter touch though, so I assume that I have no work to do now. The European nordic traditions or the middle east for example. Regarding the middle east my teacher is Jesus, he will tell me whatever I have to know.
When I visited Australia many years ago, I met first nation people. A brief encounter, it was like saying ‘yes, I am also around, but I’ll meet you again in another life!’ There is work to do, there is justice to be demanded and there is protection needed for the culture and for the land. Maybe in another life I will be part of their culture and bring my knowledge and determination in.
So where do I really belong to, stripping down all the bodies that I have built over so many lifetimes, I belong to the light, to the universe, every bit of me and the light and the universe belongs to me!